Behind The Beauty with Palak Gupta
WHEN I STARTED MODELLING TEN YEARS AGO, my definition of beauty was very much linked to how I appeared externally, a very normal part of the job when so much of how I looked for most of my day was being dictated by someone else. After I began incorporating Ayurveda into my day-to-day life, however, beauty to me has become more about how I feel on the inside — whether or not I have gotten enough sleep, if my digestion is smooth, or if my mind is feeling calm. Even when I don't fit into the measurements that the brand is asking of me (which used to be more common when I had just started), I still feel good.
I WAS INTRODUCED TO AYURVEDA about ten years back, when I first moved to New York City. I fell sick within three months of being there — I gained more than ten kilos, my skin was breaking out, my hair was dishevelled and constantly falling out. I had no idea of who I had become or where I was. My periods had completely disappeared. Spiritually, mentally and physically, I was completely lost. The doctors there could not understand what was happening to me; modern medicine seemed to have no answer to any of it. That's when I decided to change direction. I called my nani — an incredible Ayurvedic practitioner — who asked me to do a dosha test. She also gave me a diet (more like a way of eating) to follow, along with small rituals that I could incorporate in my routine and within a week, my bloating disappeared. And in three months, my period came back.
THE MOVE FROM MUMBAI TO NEW YORK CITY WAS very intentional. My experience in India had shown me, time and again, that the industry had very little regard for our craft. I wanted to be somewhere where my work was respected. Being a part of the industry in India also meant accepting that fair was considered beautiful. This was also much of my reality growing up; as a child, no one had to explain colorism to me, it was part of my lived experience. In matrimonial ads, in films, in advertisements, the understanding that being of a darker skin tone meant that you were somehow lesser than those who were not.
THE INDIAN DESIGNER WHO WAS INSTRUMENTAL IN helping me not just accept but celebrate my skin tone was Tarun Tahiliani. It was the first time I shot for his brand as part of a bridal campaign and throughout the shoot, it was clear that they saw my dark skin as something beautiful. I remember being so surprised, that there was actually someone who liked my skin tone and saw it as being worthy of being celebrated. That was my turning point, a moment of realization that I wasn't the problem. I have to also credit Tarun here because he is so evolved not just as a designer, but also as a human being — he has an incredible eye for beauty in all its forms.
REPRESENTATION IN FASHION, BEAUTY OR CINEMA MATTERS SO MUCH TO all of us, especially younger girls for whom popular media is a getaway to the rest of the world. That being said, I don't think a few campaigns here and there can bring about the change that we need. It is a step in the right direction, yes, but it has to happen organically. Imagine a dark-skinned woman in a luxury fragrance or bridal campaign, where the brand, the outfits, the accessories and her makeup and hair take centerstage, and her skin tone stops being the story. That, in my opinion, is how representation should be done and can be implemented. Representation for the sake of it, where it is spoken about more than being worked on, where one shade of brown is used to show all dark skin tones, defeats the very purpose of it.
I think we've made enormous strides from where we were a few years back, but we're still so much better at knowing what we're supposed to say as opposed to actually putting in the work to make it happen. The real test will be when we look at a person who is of a darker skin tone and describe them as beautiful instead of simply romanticizing the idea of it all.
I HAD ALWAYS WANTED TO DO A beauty campaign. In India at the time, a lot of the models that were cast for these kinds of jobs were fair-skinned. In New York, however, it was the first job that came my way; I was hired for a CoverGirl Cosmetics campaign and shot for all the products in the line: mascara, foundation, concealer, the works. This was when I realized just how much beauty still existed as a single ideal in India, as opposed to being all-encompassing in a way where every skin tone was celebrated without being put under the pressure of representation. The shift that I am really interested in is when an Indian woman doesn't have to represent anything. She can just look however she wants and be who she wants to be, without being a token for representation.
I REALIZED I WAS BEING TREATED DIFFERENTLY IN INDIA AFTER having worked in the West. It's a bit of a controversial statement but it is the truth and I think so much of it has to do with our colonial hangover. A lot of us still seem to lean towards Western approval, whether it is for people, ideas, or food. It's so surprising for me personally that some people in India consider living in New York a superpower when it is not, and treat me differently than what they would have a few years back because of it. I really hope that we can start respecting ourselves and our own people more, without requiring any kind of external approval for it.
I HAD TO CONSCIOUSLY UNLEARN the idea of "maintaining" my hair, body and skin. When you do this for a living, it can be very easy to see yourself from the eyes of another person, almost like a project that is supposed to be worked on endlessly. Ayurveda has been crucial for me in changing my thought process through this process because Ayurveda doesn't ask what is wrong with my body, it asks what it needs. Taking care of my body now feels nourishing and the maintenance that comes with the job is not based in fear anymore. I don't feel the need to change anything just because my livelihood depends on it. And when you're healthy, your physical appearance is just a side effect of all the work that you're putting in. It's a byproduct of trying to be in a good state of mind, body and spirit.
I WAS VERY YOUNG WHEN I started modeling. I had little to no exposure to beauty products growing up; when I sat in the makeup artist's chair for the first time, I remember wondering what they were doing to me. Earlier, I used to hoard products like crazy — I once held on to a concealer from MAC from almost ten years! I should have thrown it away long before that, but I wasn't as spiritually connected then as I am now and I found it hard to part with things, no matter how trivial they might have been. When I found Ayurveda, my skin took a complete turn for the better. Don't get me wrong, I am still very much a makeup girlie, but now its more about makeup as a way of celebrating my skin than anything else. I am also so much more confident now and it shows — when I came back to India after five years to walk for Sabyasachi's twenty-fifth anniversary show, everyone who I met told me that I still looked the same as I did before. Even the makeup artists were so surprised with how good my skin was, and you know its real when a makeup artist compliments you on your skin!
MY SIGNATURE FRAGRANCE IS THE Crystal Saffron Eau De Parfum from the French brand Matiere Premiere. The first bottle that I owned was a gift, but I have not stopped repurchasing it ever since! It is definitely an investment but worth every penny, in my opinion. The fragrance stands out instantly and has a warm, sensual quality to it without being overwhelmingly sweet. I love it so much, and this is another product that you will always find me having backups of.
A PRODUCT THAT I CANNOT DO WITHOUT IS THE Nars Radiant Creamy Concealer. I have multiple backups of it; it is so good and my absolute favorite in the world! Another recent favorite product of mine has been the Re:Define Longwear Lip Liner from FAE Beauty in the shade Bottom Line. It is the perfect brown liner for my skin tone and I pair it with the My Comfy Matte Lipstick from Dolce & Gabbana, topped with the Vinotherapist Tinted Lip Balm from Caudalie.
A BEAUTY TIP I PICKED UP ON SET was using a sugar scrub! I was on set for Merit Beauty and the makeup artist used a concoction made from really fine sugar crystals, a bit of salt and Aquaphor before applying lipstick on me. It has been a gamechanger for me and now I always make sure to use a scrub before putting on any kind of lip products.
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